A note to the person I once considered my bestfriend.

I’ve had quite a few best friend’s growing up and one of them left behind a permanent stain on my heart and my constant struggle of trying to replace that person, fill up the gapping hole in my heart. Since then I met quite a few people and by that I mean two. The first one and I, we kind off fell apart and that was maybe we didn’t really have much in common or I just desperately wanted someone to be there for me and that person was my only chance. I mean I am still friends with that person but maybe we are just not close enough that I could share my sorrows. But none the less I still love that human piece of shit for sticking up for me when no one did.
The next one was like a new hope that maybe this person would make a difference but the thing about me is that I am damaged. I am depressed and bipolar and no I don’t choose to be this, it is a disease that is totally out of my control. I don’t know when I would flip a switch and snap back at you, not in a harsh way but maybe just in a small fit that might not even be relevant enough. Some people just can’t seem to understand that or they have too big of an ego to understand the situation and not accuse me of treating you like trash because trust me when I say that I didn’t treat you like trash I mean it. I know it when I treat people like trash and I am quite sure that I would have apologised greatly for my behaviour from my heart no matter how badly I must have snapped at you but really that’s besides the point. And no where this could have been a reason for you to cut me off from your life. People fight over bigger shit and still remain friends.
When you consider someone as your best friend you love the good as well as their dark side. Nobody is perfect, you need to understand that. You can’t just let go of a person you once thought was your bff just because you might have seen their dark side a bit. That’s not what friendship  is about. Friendship is loving the Flaws of your supposed friend as much as you love their good things.
I learn quite a lot every time I meet New people and some of them push me to through the edge. I might have not taken this reaction of this person very elegantly and done some things that would be poisonous to myself, the things and feelings I left behind years ago but I really can’t control it. I just really want to say is that please don’t make someone your bff or close friend if you’re not going to love them for who they are.

PS no offence to anyone.

When you ‘like’ someone you are not suppose to ‘like’.

Everyone might have had a crush on that some guy or girl you are not suppose to like for some really terrifying reasons, reasons like, ‘He has a big ego’, ‘she has to much of an attitude’, ‘he is bad news’, ‘I am just not compatible for him/her because well I am ugly af’ or for some people ‘he/she is my bff’s bf/gf’ and well many more.

And then sometimes we fake whole situation of ‘omg! I hate him, he is ugly and totes bad news’ but what really goes inside your head is, ‘ooooemmmmmgeeeeee! He is so hot like soooooo freakinggggg hot. Just omgggggggg. Can’t take it.’ (Hormonal overdrive)

And then you start secretly developing this crush. You go with this constant stalking and hoping for them to notice you. You change you’re appearance and try to look a bit more attractive, I mean as much as you can because you know you don’t even have the ‘A’ from attractiveness. It’s a tough battle that you are never ever going to win because HE/SHE WILL NEVER NOTICE YOU.

And it’s painful and a total waste of time but hey, enjoy it as much as you can because it’s just a crush and you ain’t falling in love with that person. And if by any chance you think you are falling in love then, ‘bro, you need a doctor’.

You also need to move on because being stuck over someone is not a fun feeling. Also stalking someone to that level might also not be mentally healthy for you. 😉 JUST GET A LIFE. LOVE SOMEONE WHO NOTICES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND NOT THE ARTIFICIAL THINGS ABOUT YOU.


PS – No I am not crushing anyone. Lol 😉

How deep is your trust?

So there are times in your life when you go through this weird phase or moment where the people you love and trust the most might act up in a weird and revolting way by which they might hurt you and sabotage you’re trust complete.

This could literally happen to anyone and everyone reacts to it in a totally different way. In my situation, I act in a very negative way. For me trust is everything and if you break it, you might as well be dead for me. Forgiving someone is not in my nature and people keep asking me ‘why?’. They genuinely think that it’s stupid and unreasonably, that I try to create a big mess out of a small itty-bitty feud.

But for me it’s kind off like an defence mechanisms. I can’t forgive you and I can’t forget it. I can’t let it go and yes, I would distant myself from you because I don’t want to take any risks and maybe trust you again for you to fuck it over again. Yes, I know it might be immature and childish or whatever the hell you think it is. You have to understand everyone react differently according to their nature and past experiences.

And if you never really meant to hurt me in the way you did and are sorry for it then it’s best to give it some time and show that you are sorry rather than repeating it over and over by apologizing.

But hey, if you are lucky you might have a friend who is a bit more kinder then I am and might just forgive you in one go and if not then… well…




PS  – Not trying to offend anyone with this post. XO

Relationship < Ego

At this point in my life each and every one of my friend is dating and I am literally the only one who is not interested in it.  I mean dating nowadays feels like a show of power more than love and affection. I am not a person who likes to live by the rules of others. I see my female friends asking for permissions of their boyfriends for silly things. I mean why? He is not your parent and he is definitely not the one who pays for your basic needs. You are your own self.  I disagree with this whole business, it’s the 21th century in which we talk about how women are becoming independent and you guys are still living under the rule of a stupid teenage boy. I mean you are his partner, his equal and not his pet dog.

I think a good relationship is when your partner understands and respects your choices and doesn’t try to tie you down.  A person who respects you enough to trust in your decision making power. That is what love is all about. Pushing each other to do better in their life rather than binding them to your wipe just so you could get the satisfaction of a boosted ego.  I have seen girls who understand this simple rule and yet they still follow what he says like a trained dog.

And sometimes you see this scenario in guys; they follow the orders of their girlfriends without even thinking logically about it like a blind guy. Some of them are so smitten that they don’t even realize what’s right and what’s wrong.  I mean, use your godammit brains people. Stop living under someone’s shadow and find a person who is strong enough to respect your life as much as he/she respects their own. Peace out.



Why are woman always considered as “whores” and not men?

When people say they believe in equality, they don’t really realize what equality means. Yes, I would agree to a fact that people in our society are a little more open minded and unorthodox then before when it comes to the issue of women rights but that doesn’t means that we are still there. One of the most basic example that we all as teenagers see in our day to day life is when a boy dates too many girls and has any type of sexual relationship with them then he is considered “cool”, “stud”, etc, etc. why isn’t he deemed as a slut or a whore. But if in his place it’s a woman then she is named as many as unholy words that are there in the universe.

I mean if you talk about equality then where is your equality in such cases. Why is the female always blamed for everything. And don’t pretend and be like, “I never thought that a boy who is basically a playboy is hot and a girl who is a “playgirl is a slut”. I mean it’s a stereotype in our society. But I think it is our responsibility to change this because we are the future. It is us who need to change such mistakes, to change such stereotypes and teach equality in a better way. I don’t mean that being a playboy or anything is a good thing. I mean, “Get a life dude, there is so much to life than just sex”.  But in a certain age we all do it. All of us make mistake that we regret and that’s life but labeling someone with such cruel tags for such tribal reason because they belong to certain gender, caste, religion, etc is not right. I hope you all would just spread some love. Peace out.



PS : FOLLOW ME ON INSTA @the_invisible_girls_dream


Those bad days.

                                                                   Do you have those horrible days when you don’t want to do anything at all?  It feels like everything is falling apart and all you want to do is curl up in your bed. You don’t want to interact with anyone or have any kind of social relationship. You just want to cry and cry until this horrible feeling goes away.  You just want to stay in your personal bubble because everything else is just annoying the shit out of you.  You don’t even know what’s wrong with you but you just know that it’s not a very pleasant kind of a feeling.  You just feeling extremely numb and like you could just break any possible second.


                                                                  Personally I have been through it a lot of times than I’ll like to admit. I have had it for days or sometimes a whole month but I think it’s maybe because at some point in my life I was extremely depressed. Depression is a struggle much like being a drug addict is. It’s like it never truly goes away and any small irrelevant thing could trigger it back.  It could lead to allot of things like self-harm and so on. It makes you so much angry, you don’t even know where this anger is coming from but it’s there and you don’t have a way of getting rid of it. So the only possible way you find is self-harm. It’s definitely a bad thing but most people don’t understand how bad it could be. People think its funny but it’s not.


                                                                          The only way you could get out this by thinking about happy memories, try to paint a possible happy future for yourself. You can also joint therapy or whatever you think is bed for you. You just need to have hope. Hope is a very strong feeling could get you through all the possible difficult times in your life. Believe in yourself and learn to love yourself.


PS: If you need someone to talk to you can email me -kalotegrishma@gmail.com . I would love to help you out.

PSS:  FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM  @the_invisible_girls_dream


Being invisible in the eyes of others.


                                                                You know that feeling when you are being ignored by your friends or classmates. When they look straight in your direction but they see a person besides you.  The feeling when everyone ignores you while you are trying to tell them about an interesting incident that happened. It’s like you don’t even matter because they think that you just aren’t an interesting person. Sometimes this behaviors take a whole another level when they don’t even bother to pretend that they care about you and that hurts like a bitch. You just want to fit in and you are trying your very best to just finally blend in with everyone but no matter how hard you try, you keep failing. That’s when you start wondering whether there is something wrong with yourself but in reality it not you. It’s the friends you are making or maybe it’s just a small misunderstanding.


                                                                    It’s not your fault really, either you are making the wrong kind of friends or you are just making things up in your mind. You need be friend with those who really care about you. You have to make sure that you are not forcing yourself into a group just so you can fit in.  They might be ignoring you because they clearly don’t want you in their group. It is hard to be ignored but not being ignored is much easier. You should always stay with such people for whom your existence does matters.

                                                                         But sometimes this rejection is just in your head. Some of us introverts have difficulty fitting in with the other kids. It’s not easy for us to make new friends because we are either very shy or we lack the skills of socialization.  For us making friends feels like a very hard task. Some of us would rather prefer the fiction characters from our books on actual real people as our friends. This type of mentality makes us feel like nobody likes us and makes us feel rejected. Many of the times it’s just our brain playing games with us, making us feel that we are unwanted. I think everyone can make it through.

                                                                   Everyone deserves friendship though whether it’s an easy or hard one. Everyone needs someone to share, love and of course have a few drinks with. I mean in the end humans are social animals.




ps : follow me|| insta 🙂

What about love?

Love, it’s just a difficult feeling to explain, you can’t really explain it unless you have ever been in love and even if you have ever been in love it’s still quite hard to explain it. There are all different types of love that come with different types of relationship. But the love you have for someone with whom you’ll like to spend the rest of your existence or at least you hope to spend the rest of your existence with them is very much different. Love is beautiful yet dangerous. Love is like a roller-coaster, you feel so much more alive then you actually are.

Your world starts with your special one and ends with them. It’s like they have this power that could make you do anything and everything. If you both disagree, it feels like your worlds going to end. When he/she is happy, so are you. When he/she is sad, so are you. Your whole universe starts to revolve around the one. But when your one and only; doesn’t loves you back as much as you love him/her or maybe a little less than you do; it hurt. It hurt so much that you can physically feel it. It’s like your hearts stops beating.

But if he/she loves someone else then it feels more like dying, it’s like every second you see them loving someone else, in that every second you are dying slowly and everything is just not beautiful anymore. Life has no meaning to it. You just want a little love, little hope because you know you can’t just live with the one. You just want, no you need him/her to just love you back. Everything starts to fall apart and you just don’t know pick up the broken pieces. You don’t know how to just undo it, how to be whole again and it suck but if you ever had a chances to overdo it, you would still choose to love the one.

It doesn’t matters if people say that it wasn’t true love because they never loved you back or his/her love wasn’t just enough. For you it would still be true love, no matter what anybody says and that’s the beauty of love.


ps : this is one of my all time favorite songs, just check it out.

What’s the right way of celebrating the festival of lights; Diwali?

Diwali is one the most important festivals of India. The festival of lights they call it. Diwali is celebrated across religion and region. But are we celebrating this festival in the right way? Are we really pleasing the gods above by our ways of celebrating it? I am not much of a very religious person but I think that even the Gods know the importance’s of the God of all gods, who might you ask? Well isn’t it obvious; “Earth”. Our mother earth is at least to me is above god and everything (quite literally). The earth gives us life, water, food and everything else. We are nothing without her and yet we harm her in so many horrible ways. We don’t understand that how important she is for our existence as a race. “You don’t know the value of something until you lose it”, is so true in this case. Sometimes we have no choice but to harm her in order to have development for our race. But do we have a choice? Are there things that are not necessary and can be stopped which will help reduce the pain of our mother nature.

Well the easiest way to do that is to stop bursting so many effing firecrackers during Diwali. It does looks like a small effort like, “what difference is it going to make if I won’t burst cracker for like 5 days”, but trust me it will. And isn’t Diwali a festival of lights and I am pretty sure that light doesn’t necessarily means firecracker. I mean you could donate some candles to people who have to live without any form of electricity or light. Children who don’t have any sort of light to study under in the dark. I think that would be a right way to celebrate the festival of light and trust me it would definitely feel 100 times better than burning crackers. The happiness you get when you donate anything to a person who actual needs it. You could spread light in someone’s life by your kindness and donation and this light would be brighter than the one a firecracker can make. A better noise than of a firecracker can be the one of a contained laugh happy child. Do something different for once and feel the happiness. So be the change this Diwali because isn’t it to mainstream to burst crackers and celebrate Diwali?


ps : hello! from the other sideeeeeee.

pss : Fireworks are not fun for animals. Always keep dogs and cats inside the house when fireworks are being let off. Stay calm and make sure they have somewhere to hide.

pss : Check out my friend’s post for better facts on bursting firecrackers during Diwali. Be a little selfish this Diwali.

psss : HAPPY DIWALI!!!! 🙂 to everyone.

What about the future?

If we could just have a glimpse in the future then maybe it won’t be so difficult to make decisions that would give us a guaranteed happy life. Future is such a scary yet exciting term. You never know what the future might hold for you. You never know what or how you would be then and you constantly keep trying in various ways to secure your future but it doesn’t always turns out the way you want it to be.

It’s also so hard to decide what we want to do in the future because let’s face it, we are still confused teenagers with out of control hormones and to make such a critical decision during this confusing time is more confusing than reading a book in Victorian English. It’s not just being confused about it but deciding what we want to do is also hard because as we grow up our interests keep changing quite rapidly, at our age we are never sure about anything. I mean let’s face it everyone hated Justin Bieber like 6 months ago and they hated him for a long time but now that he has dropped his new album which I might say is quite awesome everyone has started to like him. That’s not the only example I mean you have a crush for like a month tops and later on you don’t like that person anymore. I mean personally I change my crush like I change my pants.

But hey, who said life was easy (no one apparently). It’s okay to be confused and not sure. I mean no one is perfect. You just have to have faith in yourself. You just have to give time for yourself and discover new things and just go on with life. You’ll figure it out sooner or later just don’t be in hurry. You’ll get it eventually.


ps : i am in love with song.

pss: no hate. PLEASE.